All right, I will admit there are a few tools and tricks I like to use sometimes to feel extra sexy. Be it for my own enjoyment or because I have a crowd to mesmerize. I also have been known to use some of them (or all three!) before a date because I like the feeling of internal vibrancy I get from centering in my own goodness.
This is essentially the equivalent of a new perfume or a trip to the beautician. It will make you feel irresistible and make you love living in your own skin.
Voluptuous centering using touch
You can use sensual touch at any time and any place, which makes it one of my favorites. You could join your hands and rub them together, finding pleasure in the movement, stroke your hair, caress your face, or anything that sensually awakens you.
Enjoy the experience and be present to it; take a deep breath and let it recharge you and bring you joy and inner peace.
Don’t let the simplicity of this practice fool you: it is powerful. Touch leads to a dopamine release in your brain, a chemical associated with gratification, sleep, stress response, memory and focus, and much more so treat yourself. It’s healthy!
I love this one and use it a lot to deal with overwhelming situations and also as a daily practice to ground myself in mindfulness.
Holotropic breathwork is a breathing practice that changes the body’s oxygen balance and is believed to help one move past the physical body, gain a better sense of self-awareness, and facilitate emotional release.
Intense breathwork is not recommended if you have a history or risk of cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, or seizure. I also don’t recommend breathwork for pregnant women.
You can try this seated or lying down. I suggest you put on some music or find a breathwork playlist on youtube. Try to breathe with an open mouth and relaxed jaw and to intentionally deepen your breath. Picture the oxygen getting all the way to your genitals as if you were breathing from this part of your body. Keeping your focus on your pelvic floor, hip bowl, and genitals, make it the center of the experience.
This practice is perfect for restoring tour relationship to your genital, instilling trust and confidence. It is useful to maintain better erections, ease pain during penetration, get exquisite pleasure during sex, and every other sexual issue rooted in a disconnection from this area.
It’s also a powerful way to release sexual trauma and shame.
And dare I say, it’s very pleasurable. You could experience some turn on. Relax and enjoy 🙂
Breasts or testicles massage
Some of you already feel awkward about the idea but hear me out, please, and then decide 🙂
This massage is pleasurable, empowering, and help with surrender and softness, all great qualities to connect to someone on a deeper level.
Empowering because having a solo practice is literally about taking your pleasure into your own hands. Not relying on anyone else to make you feel good changes the way you live inside of your body entirely.
It’s also great to connect to your sensual energy and have it moving and radiating before a date.
So let’s talk about technique. For a breast massage, use both hands with a circular motion. Move up on the inside and down on the outside. This direction is clearing energies and connecting you to your softer qualities.
You can then switch and go up on the outside and down on the inside. This charges your breasts with energy and power. Traditionally though, we do not recommend this direction if there is any history of breast cancer or anything risky in the breast tissue.
For a testicle massage, firmly hold the scrotum with one hand and roll the ball of your hand over the two testicles for 1-2mn.
Bonus: Total Love Meditation
Once you have the sexy and seductive part down, check out my free Total Love Meditation to feel open to love and let it in.